apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
