covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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