I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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