she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
