So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
