a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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