"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
