based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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