dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
