just tell him i said nine months
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
