if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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