I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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