he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
