I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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