i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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