so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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