shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
