Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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