I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
