DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
