Well apparently he's into motor boating.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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