So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
