He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
