yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
