First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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