Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
