But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
