It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
