How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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