I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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