there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
