dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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