i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
