Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
