Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish you could order shots online.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
