Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
