From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
