who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
