all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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