i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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