Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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