It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
