Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
