Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
