We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
