Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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