Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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