we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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