pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
