Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
