Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
