paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
