you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
